{"id":513,"date":"2014-01-16T09:31:23","date_gmt":"2014-01-16T14:31:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/?p=513"},"modified":"2014-01-16T09:31:23","modified_gmt":"2014-01-16T14:31:23","slug":"when-learning-to-forgive-begin-with-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/?p=513","title":{"rendered":"When learning to forgive, begin with yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"http:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"Digg\",\"Reddit\",\"Email\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_twitter_via = \"eggsmcmanus\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_twitter_via=\"eggsmcmanus\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"When learning to forgive, begin with yourself\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"http:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>Making a better life is challenging.\u00a0 You may be doing everything right.\u00a0 You are living in the moment, appreciating the things you have and making small changes towards reaching your goals.\u00a0 However, you can still feel like you are walking against the tide.\u00a0 On those days, there will occasionally be setbacks.\u00a0 You may slip into old habits or have an emotional meltdown.\u00a0 It is OK. It happens.\u00a0 It is part of the process.\u00a0 Just like someone who is attempting to eat healthier may have an entire tub of ice cream after a particularly trying day, you may hit a similar stumbling block.<\/p>\n<p>We are human.\u00a0 We are fallible.\u00a0 Self improvement is an ongoing journey for the rest of your life.\u00a0 Each day and each moment,\u00a0 you have a choice.\u00a0 Now and then you might indulge the three year old inside that has a temper tantrum when things do not go as planned.\u00a0 Alternatively, you may step back, take a deep breath and focus on how to solve the problem.\u00a0 Just because one day you make a poor decision does not mean you are bound to that course of action every time.\u00a0 Unless that is your choice.\u00a0 When you become disappointed with your behavior, forgive the transgression and allow yourself another chance.<\/p>\n<p>As a parent it is easy to forgive your child for their mistakes.\u00a0 While learning to pour from a carton, you do not chastise them for spilling the milk.\u00a0 While learning to walk, you do not insult them when they fall.\u00a0 Apply this principle to yourself.\u00a0 We are all learning how to be better people.\u00a0 Be kind to yourself when you have a bad day. Forgive yourself for succumbing to your emotions or being angry at your circumstances.\u00a0 Forgive yourself for falling into old patterns which have been established over many years.\u00a0 Successful change occurs when you take responsibility for your choices and make better decisions next time.\u00a0 Reflect on how you feel when you overreact or over indulge.\u00a0 You will notice that these actions are counterproductive.\u00a0 In addition, you feel bad about yourself which increases the distress.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/PL-6-knife-web.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-422 aligncenter\" alt=\"PL 6 knife web\" src=\"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/PL-6-knife-web-300x214.jpg\" width=\"300\" height=\"214\" \/><\/a>When you take this attitude with yourself, you will find it easier to apply it to others in your life as well.\u00a0 This is essential to improve relationships in your life. \u00a0Learning to forgive yourself will help you understand how important it is to give those around you another chance to redeem themselves.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Truth be told, I have a horrible temper.\u00a0 I am Portuguese and as a culture we often scream, shout and flail our arms over just about anything.\u00a0 I know the Italians get all the glory when it comes to hot blooded reactions but believe me, you do not want to get caught in the wrath of a Portuguese woman either, it is not pretty.\u00a0 That being said, I had to put this temper in check.\u00a0 It is exhausting to fly off the handle and as I mentioned before, it does not accomplish anything.\u00a0 However, sometimes it is cathartic.\u00a0 Before indulging myself in an outburst I try to ask myself the question \u201cwhy am I upset?\u201d\u00a0 The answer is not as obvious as it may seem.\u00a0 When someone hurts you, it may be that you are disappointed that they did not meet your expectations.\u00a0 Perhaps something did not go as you had hoped and you are disillusioned because of your fear of failure.\u00a0 If you analyze the root of your anger you often will encounter that it is because of your presumption of the outcome and has very little to do with any circumstance or person involved.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">It is natural to be annoyed when things do not go as planned.\u00a0 How you decide to express your aggravation is the key to improving your life.\u00a0 Call a friend.\u00a0 Call a psychologist. Talk to the person with whom you are having an issue and make it clear that you are not mad at them but you need to vent.\u00a0 It is ok to tell someone that you are upset by their actions without insulting them.\u00a0 Whether it is your spouse, your children or a friend, it is important that you communicate your fears and disappointment without making them responsible for your state of mind.\u00a0 This will improve your relationship because you can be honest and forthcoming without causing them to feel like they have to defend themselves.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/PL-6-Control-Temper-web.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\" wp-image-421 aligncenter\" alt=\"PL 6 Control Temper web\" src=\"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/PL-6-Control-Temper-web.jpg\" width=\"540\" height=\"608\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Whether it is the extra piece of cake you had at a friend\u2019s wedding, losing your temper with a loved one or letting an opportunity slip by because of fear, forgive yourself. \u00a0 Apply this philosophy to anyone in your life who may have a setback.\u00a0 Each time you forgive, you will be moving one step closer to peace within and happiness in your life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"http:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"Digg\",\"Reddit\",\"Email\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_twitter_via = \"eggsmcmanus\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_twitter_via=\"eggsmcmanus\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"When learning to forgive, begin with yourself\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"http:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>Making a better life is challenging.\u00a0 You may be doing everything right.\u00a0 You are living in the moment, appreciating the things you have and making small changes towards reaching your goals.\u00a0 However, you can still feel like you are walking against the tide.\u00a0 On those days, there will occasionally be setbacks.\u00a0 You may slip into [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":423,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":""},"categories":[3,13,14],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/513"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=513"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":518,"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/513\/revisions\/518"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/423"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riverwolflodge.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}